Before getting pregnant, I wasn’t even aware sharing birth stories was a thing. Until I followed a few pregnancy Instagram accounts, that’s when I discovered people share birth photos and videos as well. Let me tell you that I had no desire in photographing or filming my birth! No thank you! I will though share my birth story. It is funny though that as I’m sitting here reflecting on my labor, I swore that I would remember every painful second of it for the rest of my life! Well, it’s only been 7 weeks, and it’s all a haze to me now.
My pregnancy on the physical aspect was relatively easy. Uncomplicated and easy enough that I had the impression giving birth would be as well. I didn’t bother with signing up for a birth class or a breastfeeding class. I didn’t have a birth plan, and neither did I print out affirmations to post on my hospital room wall. I really thought I could warrior goddess through out birth and the fourth trimester! I vowed not to yell out during labor or make strange noises either, haha.
Looking back I think I was one of those women who was very nonchalant about getting ready for the baby or birth. I didn’t start preparing baby things until my 7th month of pregnancy, well into the mid month of May. My due date was July 8th! I didn’t even pack my hospital bag till a week before my due date.
As closer as we got to my due date, I was getting more impatient to give birth. I wanted her out! I honestly never enjoyed being pregnant, and 22 kilos heavier, I was ready! I ignored all the comments about how much more difficult it would be when the baby is actually out, and how I should enjoy these last days before all the sleepless nights begin. No, I did not listen to them, I WAS READY!
The early contractions – Days 1 & 2
I’m a person who is very intune with their body. I knew I was pregnant right from the beginning, I can’t explain it but it’s like I’m mentally connected to every molecule of my being! haha. I think from this I always believed that I would know when my labor would start, and how to give birth. Don’t they say that an expecting mother knows when the time is approaching?
I certainly felt it, starting Monday I was really feeling a strong urge to get the final things ready for delivery and bringing our baby home. I remember telliing Le’Von that our baby would come early! On Wednesday night before my contracts started, I just knew that it would be my last chance to paint my toe nails. I wasn’t going to have unkept feet on the delivery bed! In middle of painting my toes the contractions started! Gentle enough that I could get some sleep.
Thursday morning and afternoon I was washing Aiyana Honey’s clothes for a 4th time. I wanted to make sure there weren’t any chemicals for my soft newborn baby’s skin! My contractions in the morning were about 30-40 minutes apart. And in midst of the last preparations I think I was on the phone a lot with my mother, but not saying too much. I like how my mother instinctively knew that I wanted her on the phone, just to have her reassuring presence. My contractions were steadily 15-20 minutes apart during the day.
Late into the night, it must have been around 2-3 AM, the contractions were much closer together! It felt like it was jumping to 5-7 minutes apart. Le’Von was the one who said it’s time to go to the hospital! We walked in good humor to the hospital, it’s a short walk away for us. Midway the contractions got closer together, and I remember quietly stopping to stand and embrace each contraction as they came. Oh we were proud, excited, and a tiny bit nervous!
When we got to the hospital, the admitting nurse was not impressed with me I felt. She was annoyed that we didn’t call before we left our home. Looking back now I realize that she just knew it was not time for me yet! I remember there was another expecting mother walking up and down the hallways, moaning and grunting. Oh but not I! I made sure to stick to my unnecessary promise that I wasn’t going to vocalize my pain! I was almost annoyed with this other expecting mother during our contractions (strangely our contractions synchronized), as she was moaning and grunting so loudly, topping it off with a teeth clattering noise. I whispered to Le’Von that that was not going to be me! ‘Cause remember, I’m going to warrior goddess through my labor!
By the time a midwife checked me, I was only 2 cm dilated, so they sent us home with some sort of pain killer. I can’t remember what it was, if it was a pain reliever, a sleeping aid, or an allergy pill. Whatever it was, I gladly took it, as I was exhausted and looked forward to getting some sleep. The admitting nurse of course reminded us to make sure we call when we think it’s time! I got some sleep this night but by the time I woke up the contractions were so painful. Little did I know that that was NOTHING compared to the contractions to come.
The oh-you-haven’t-felt-nothing-yet contractions – Day 3
Friday was excruciating. I woke up knowing this was going to be a hell of a day for me. I started questioning everything. Why didn’t the midwife give me more than one measly little pill? How come the other moms I know went into active labor shortly after their contractions started? Why isn’t my water breaking? How much longer can I deal with this?
I must give credit to my partner Le’Von for keeping track of every contraction. We were on the phone together when he was on the way home from work. He had a contractions counting app downloaded on his phone; an app his colleague recommended as he and his wife had recently given birth. Since that phone call all the way to when I was finally admitted, he counted and noted on the app every single contraction. I’ve never seen anyone so dedicated with a task.
By dinner time the contractions got closer and stronger, up to this point I was efficient enough in hiding the pain from the boys. (Le’Von has 2 lovely sons from before). I wanted our last dinner as a family of 4 to be as pleasant as possible, but when each contraction came, I would turn to the side and just sort of hunch over my chair, and retreat back to normal once they passed. The boys even helped to count my contractions. They were so excited for their little sister to arrive! I think they were even relieved she was going to come early, as they were supposed to return to their mother’s on our actual due date.
By bed time I was exhausted, I just wanted to get some sleep. But the contractions were so intense! I was so tired though that I would pass out in between each contraction which was around 7-10 minutes, and wake up again from the pain. Some contractions I would get off the bed and try to find a position to help sooth. Nothing really worked.
“We need to go NOW.” ahh finally those words came out of Le’Von. As he was the experienced one, I was waiting for him to tell me when we should go. By this time I realized that the night before was silly? Of course I wasn’t ready to give birth if I could manage walking to the hospital in a good humor! Le’Von called the hospital and alerted them that we were on the way. We took a taxi, and the admitting nurse this time wasn’t short with us. She could see that this was it! I’m going to give birth today!
“You’re still at 2 cm.” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of the midwife’s mouth. Surely after 3 days of constant contractions, I must be dilated more! Especially after the last 24 hours I’ve endured, HOW IN THE WORLD AM I STILL AT 2 CM? I was astonished. The midwife reassured me and shortly after I was admitted into my hospital room where I would give birth, it must have been around 4:30-5 AM.
I can’t even remember who my admitting midwife was. I managed to have 3 different midwifes by the time I was admitted and giving birth to Aiyana Honey. I do remember my main midwife though, the one who was there with me from 8 AM and until 3 PM. As that was when her shift started and ended. She was amazing! I couldn’t have gotten anyone who was more comforting, kind, patient, and reassuring as this woman was. She made me feel as comfortable as I could be!
The first 6 hours in my hospital room is a blur for me to recall. I listened to my midwife and did everything I was told, except eating. I had no appetite whatsoever. All I could manage to eat was some yogurt almond nuts. Le’Von as always, was amazing. He kept me hydrated, and although I had no appetite, he kept trying to bring me different kinds of food. Honestly I was a zombie at this point. All I wanted was to sleep, I didn’t even think about having to push out a baby. I wanted sleep and to be left alone.
When I finally reached 6 cm dilation, which must have been around 11-12. My midwife offered getting an epidural, and I gladly accepted. I think by this time everyone felt sorry for me. haha. However the anesthesiologist was taking their time! An hour and half or so later I got the epidural. and Oh My God. It was a whole different world for me. I wish I could have gotten that epidural sooner, WOW it was a game changer.
‘Cause remember, I was going to quietly warrior goddess through my labor. Well I didn’t mention, but the entire time I was in my hospital room. I felt I was not myself! With every contraction, I would stand and rock and sway. Although Le’Von says I was quiet. As I wasn’t yelling out or screaming, but I was doing the exact same moaning and teeth clattering that the woman was doing the first night we were at the hospital. The same sounds that I found irritating and swore I would not make. It’s funny how that works.
IT’S TIME BABYGIRL
I can’t recall what time it was, as after the epidural, things started to pick up. I was suddenly 10 CM dilated. I think this was when she said she could feel my baby’s head! She suggested getting something to eat. No, I wanted sleep. Now with the epidural, I managed to sleep through the contractions. I had 2 hours to deliver our baby, and I spent those 2 hours sleeping as best as I could.
Around 2:40 PM, I told my midwife I’m ready. I wanted her to be the one to deliver our baby, as her shift ends at 3. I didn’t know how that was going to be possible, but I was going to try my best. Time to put those muscles to work, warrior goddess! I had no idea how fast things would get moving as soon as I said I’m ready. I thought there would be more procedures. But nope, she simply repositioned me, explained when to push and when to stop. Remember I didn’t take any classes, so this is all the direction I got. And truthfully it was all I needed.
To be honest, if I didn’t get the epidural by the time I did, so that I could get a couple hours of decent rest before I was to push our baby out. I don’t know if I would have done such an efficient job. Having to have constant contractions for 3 days with bare minimum sleep, took a toll on my energy.
From this moment on until our baby girl came out into the world, there was only one thought going through my head.
DO NOT POOP IN FRONT OF YOUR PARTNER.
This was the only thought to be honest. I was so preoccupied with this thought going through my head while listening to my midwife’s ques on when to push and when to stop, that I didn’t notice or care about more midwifes entering the room. I believe at some point prior I was told about when two more midwifes would enter the room, and the child nurse would enter last. When the child nurse entered the room I did have a fast thought that the end must be near now.
So yes while I’m pushing with my warrior goddess muscles the best I can, as I had been doing kegal exercises for years prior (I must have been oddly preparing for child birth haha), and at the same time to make sure I’m not going to poop. I had faith that I wasn’t going to as I feel I have excellent muscle control haha and I had emptied my system shortly after being admitted.
In midst of pushing, shorty after 3 PM, there was a shift change, and my wonderful midwife sadly had to leave. I was pushing and in pain during all this that I didn’t mind at all. My new midwife seemed nice and though she didn’t have the same comforting motherly energy that my midwife had, she was enthusiastic and got the job done!
The pushing itself yes was painful, and a week after birth, I was telling my friends I would never do that again. Haha. And yet today, 7 weeks later, it’s true what everyone says. My baby made me forget all about the pain. As she is the purest love I know.
Did I scream and shout and yell during active labor and pushing? No I didn’t. My inner warrior goddess took over, I was on a mission to push out my baby as fast as I could. I didn’t care about tearing or what not, I wanted her out. Although I remember after maybe the 3rd or 4th push, Le’Von, the love of my life, was seriously annoying me. Haha. He was trying his best to cheer me on, but for me, it was too much commotion. The midwife’s chant of You’re doing an amazing job, You’re doing perfect, PUSHHHH, was enough for me.
Have you ever watched birth videos? The moment when the baby comes out? Did it cross your mind that it must feel like a big release as the baby glides out? That’s exactly what it felt like the moment our babygirl came out.
When my midwife explained the pushing instructions, she also explained that for a lot of mothers the moment the baby is born, they are just so relieved the pain is over. More so than that their baby is born. And to be honest, the moment Aiyana Honey was born and they plopped her on my chest. I too was so relieved the burning pain was over.
The time was 3:24 PM. I couldn’t believe it took a mere 40 minutes of pushing to deliver Aiyana Honey. I feel I was extremely blessed. Not only was my child healthy, but so alert! Quicky after she was placed on me, she opened those pretty eyes of hers and looked right into my eyes. (Le’Von managed to capture this on photo!) But the birth itself was as uneventful as my pregnancy! None of my fears came true! I didn’t poop myself, tear my perineum, or needed my baby to be extracted by forceps.
My twin flame Le’Von
My true love Le’Von, thank you so much for being there with me from day 1. Although my pregnancy was uncomplicated and physically not demanding. It was a mental challenge for me, and you were always so supportive. But that’s who you are and I cherish you so much. Thank you for the playlist you had going on during labor. Even the songs playing was perfect. Thank you for never once losing your cool, holding my hand, wiping my forehead, keeping me hydrated, throwing away my vomit, reassuring me through every stage and every push.
I am sorry for telling you to shut up during pushing. Haha. Yes, I didn’t yell and I was relatively calm and collected during labor. I did lose my cool for a moment. I love you so much my twin flame, and thank you for our beautiful healthy baby girl. I can’t wait to continue our journey together, now as parents.
The first few days
Don’t worry, I know this is long. I’ll just mention that the next 3 nights was spent at the hospital “hotel”. It’s actually like a hotel, your own hotel room, however, they have midwifes on duty 24/7. This is where we spent the first days with our baby girl.
My mother got to spend the first night with me and Aiyana Honey. As Le’Von needed to be with the boys the first night. And this actually worked out for the best. Le’Von honestly did not sleep for 3 nights prior to the birth. Through every contraction he was awake with me, and he counted and noted EVERY contraction. Thank you again my love. Le’Von got to get some well deserved sleep. My mother and I got to bond together with my daughter/her first grandchild. I want to thank my mom as well, not only did she come with a whole week’s worth of healthy labor recovering food, but her presence made me feel safe and confident.
It was written in the stars
I wouldn’t change a thing about my pregnancy or the birth! I feel blessed to have been able to carry and give birth to my pure love, our daughter! Thank you for reading my birth story. I would love to read yours! Send me a link!